Meet Bobi Spilker, MS, LPC, NCC
Psychotherapist; In-person or On-line across Missouri
A safe space to make sense of it all.
Life happens so fast, sometimes it can be hard to clearly see the path that led us to where we are.
Maybe you’ve been trying to “busy” yourself out of feeling anxious and angry, or still feel like you’re not good enough despite all you’ve accomplished and everything you do for those around you. Maybe you sometimes look up from the endless items on your to-do list and wonder, “How did I get here to begin with?”
As much as we might want to leave behind things that happened or feelings we had in the past, the truth is, our pasts continue to inform and impact our experiences in the present. The feelings of being overwhelmed, frustrated, and disappointed in yourself, your decisions, or your ability to show up the way you want for the people you care about—those all stem from somewhere.
I truly believe there are no “bad” feelings, because whatever emotions you’re having are trying to communicate something to you—and if those feelings are causing discomfort, that’s a sign that it’s time to make a change.
I work to empower those who…
Want to stop saying “yes” to more things when they already have too much on their plates
Are ready and willing to overcome perfectionism and overthinking
Want to have better relationships with the people in their lives, and be able to handle conflict without losing their temper
Are navigating a life change or new stage of life—like stages of parenthood or empty nest, going through a divorce, or facing a loss
Have experienced any aspect of the adoptive constellation—either as an adoptee, former foster care youth, adoptive parent or sibling, foster care provider, or biological/first parent
Have had an identity surprise, due to a DNA test or learning new information about their family history
How we’ll work together:
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A lot of clients come to me wanting to know not only how to feel better, but also why they feel the way they do in the first place. As we explore your story, we’ll work to connect the dots and make sense of your experiences and the emotions surrounding them. Through this journey, I’ll help you gain new insights into your inner-workings, what you’ve been through, and how it affects your day-to-day life in order to help you have more compassion for yourself now and in the future.
We’ll also look at the ways you were able to persevere through these experiences, and I’ll be able to explain why we do some of the things we do to survive. If the ways you coped with confusing or big emotions in the past are no longer serving you as well as they once did, we’ll find some new coping strategies to replace the old ones that fit better into your life now.
Know that whatever you are carrying is welcome here—I’ll never judge anything you choose to share—and it is absolutely possible to overcome and heal from the past.
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In my 15+ years of experience, I’ve had plenty of time to figure out what works, and want to use that extensive knowledge to help you find real relief. For that reason, I’m not the type of therapist who’s just going to ask “What do you think about that?” over and over again. I’m going to help you gain some perspective, and then give you the guidance, tools, and motivation you need to move forward.
In our work together, I’ll help you understand how the strengths you already have can lead you where you want to go. Together, we’ll practice being able to surf on top of our emotions and thoughts, so to speak, instead of getting pulled out into the depths of the ocean.
As someone who’s worked through a lot in therapy myself, I’d never ask you to do something I haven’t done before—because I value your trust endlessly, and intend to honor it as I lead you down this path toward growth.
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Through this learning and practice, you’ll start to see that there is always a way to figure out what you’re going through. You’ll truly believe that you’re not alone and that there is hope. When all is said and done, you’ll know exactly who you are, feel at peace with yourself and your past, and confident that you have what you need to live the life you want to live—a life with more balance and joy.
Methods & Aproach
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EMDR helps to reduce symptoms of trauma and other difficult life experiences. We focus on a specific issue, while using bilateral stimulation to activate the brain's problem-solving process. This allows the brain to reprocess and decrease the intensity of emotion surrounding traumatic events, emotions, and beliefs.
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TBRI is a method that helps kids who've gone through traumatic experiences in their early years. It involves using science-based methods rooted in how the brain works and how we connect with others. My role is to support adults and parents by teaching strategies that help calm fears, engage with the affected child, and guide them in responding better to behaviors, especially in cases of adoption, trauma, or challenging family situations.
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A trauma-informed approach allows a safe environment to explore new ways to form connections. I teach calming techniques, mindfulness, and developing and strengthening self-regulation after intense emotional experiences. We’ll learn to identify and address feelings of fear, abandonment, loss, and being different.
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I facilitate adults’ understanding of how they engage in relationships by providing a safe environment to connect. This can include focusing on attachment with a child or other adults. We’ll explore past trauma, grief, and loss, and learn how these things can affect relationships in the present.
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This approach addresses how the mind and body are connected. I teach clients how to be aware of intense or disruptive emotions, and calm the nervous system using techniques like mindfulness and self-regulation.
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IFS is a method that assists clients in understanding the different parts of themselves through metaphor. For example, one part is a manager, another is an inner critic, and another an inner child. This helps separate painful feelings like anger and shame from the client’s personal identity.
Training & Education
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Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling
Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC)
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EMDR
Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI)
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Attachment
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National Certified Counselor Certification (NCC)
American Counseling Association (ACA)
American Psychological Association (APA)
Make peace with the past. Connect with hope for the future.
Click the link below to access my contact page, where you can get in touch via phone call, text message, or email. I’ll respond promptly to find an appointment time that works for you, and get it scheduled. My practice is fully online, which means you can experience healing from the comfort of your own space anywhere in Missouri. I look forward to hearing from you, and to the transformative work we’ll do together!